#this is just sort of a mess of words
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Do you ever think about how Fakir, after him and Ahiru finally broke everything that kept the town of Goldkröne in the ghostly hands of its writer, after they finally have some air of peace over the town finally being able to live in its intended early 2000s environment, that Fakir still feels at times like it's not real and that for a while he fears that if he closes his eyes it'll be back in Drosselmeyer's control. Like it just doesn't feel real to him during that first year of calm, until he feels the dull pain on his recovering hand injury and Ahiru who follows him without a pendant anywhere to be found.
He doesn't feel it's real, the calm finality of this town, but he makes sure to feel the scar on his hand. And he makes sure to hold the little duck and realize that she is who she has always been. Him and the town are finally living peacefully.
#dia talks#princess tutu#He probably starts planning on writing Ahiru into the world mayyybe like 3-4 months into his recovery#he doesn't know what a cell phone is yet but he sure as hell can look at a bookstore and ask for a notebook and pens#i bet that first year in Goldenkröne must be hell because trading deals bring all sorts of new things into the town#Just Fakir going “what the fuck is a scooter?? Wait what's a CAR---”#he ends up having to read a bunch of newspaper articles about “Goldenkröne booming in German tourism!”#Actually does he even know his country's name... Did they all even know they lived in Germany and not JUST a city????#Drosselmeyer would've really pulled one on them for only talking about the city and its outskirts and NOT the country it resided in#But let's assume they did know. Fakir would have to figure out so much has changed in 2002 Germany compared to whatever time they were in#My god just thinking about the thought of Fakir learning what a television is... or a radio for that matter has me howling internally#local amateur writer is put into a coma after hearing for the very first time german rapper Sido#alternatively: local amateur writer's brain explodes after hearing german Happycore artist Blümchen and dance pop group No Angels#ptutu spoiler#i know its a +20 old show but just in case people wanna watch it i love it enough to tag the post show headcanon#ptutu analysis#ptutu headcanon#ptutu post canon#Also sorry i keep jumbling between Goldkröne and Goldenkröne in the writing its 4 AM and the german part of my brain is a mess lmao#(its supposed to be Goldkröne but for some reason I keep making it into the attribute word Golden so dont mind the mistake)#(if you do i will sob please be gentle towards my polyglot self)
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APWH preview snippet!
Since I'm actively trying to work on getting the next few chapters out, I thought I'd share a little future scene with some hints of Jonsa with all you lovely people! This bit is from like, a few chapters in the future bc it's the in-between that's giving me fits right now :) (Fair warning: this is unedited and subject to change! That being said, it's such a fun scene that I can't imagine ever nixing it :D)
“Does he even know that they have to avoid the press?”
“For the last time-“ Sam sighed, sounding completely exasperated, “Dickon knows what they can and can’t do- he’s got enough practice not being photographed from when our dad was the secretary. Not to mention spending time around you when that exposé on your crazy grandfather came out two years ago.”
“I just-“ Jon sighed, blowing a stray curl out of his face. “You didn’t see how freaked out she was when the press caught us at that performance in White Harbor. I thought she was going to have a full-blown panic attack.”
He was immediately derailed by Gilly plopping little Sam down in his lap and shoving a bottle into his hands.
“What’s this all about?” he raised a brow, adjusting the baby on his lap, allowing him to latch onto the cuff of his flannel shirt and start gnawing at the fabric. “You going somewhere?”
Gilly shot him a withering look, but he saw the amusement in her eyes.
“I-“ she gestured, imperiously, “Have not had time by myself to shower all week-“
“Sorry, love.” Sam winced, looking up from his pile of paperwork. “I can take a break from these-“
“Not your fault, Sam.” she waved him off. “You warned me about this conference at the beginning of the summer.” a grin played at the corners of her mouth. “Besides, it works out well- Jon needs a distraction right now from the fact that Sansa’s on a date with your extremely hot and conventionally attractive brother.”
“Hey!” Sam looked wounded, and Gilly rolled her eyes, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
“You know you’re my favorite Tarly.” she wrinkled her nose. “How long have you been working on this presentation? You smell like the baby spit up on you.”
“Guess I’m next in line for showers.” Sam said, mournfully. “Unless-“
“Nope- I need my own time right now, Samwell. Did you even hear what I said about why Jon’s bent out of shape?”
Jon had known Gilly since Sam and she had met up north while the two of them were in college. Sometimes, it was hard to reconcile the timid, scared girl she had been with the woman who was currently devoting all of her remaining energy to busting his balls.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried about Sansa with my brother.” Sam snorted, shotgunning another cup of coffee next to him the way Jon was used to seeing undergrads do with jaeger shots. “I mean, this is Dickon we’re talking about. Used to bring wounded animals home to take care of them Dickon? The same guy who cried when we had movie night and Gilly and Rhae wanted to go see ‘Love, Simon’?” He shook his head. “Look, as far as guys she could be out on a date with right now go, Dickon’s kind of the best case scenario. She’ll have a nice time, and he’ll be a perfect gentleman.”
Jon blinked at him, silently turning to look up at Gilly, who rolled her eyes and sighed.
“You’re hopeless, sweetie.” she kissed him on the forehead again, wrinkling her nose. “He’s not worried that things will go wrong- he’s worried they’ll go a little too well.”
“You’ve been spending way too much time around my sister.” Jon muttered, narrowly avoiding little Sam’s grasping reach for his glasses, managing to get the baby to latch onto the bottle before he destroyed any more of Jon’s eyewear. “You even sounded like her just then.”
Sam blinked for a second, his head whipping between Jon and Gilly.“You’re jealous?” He asked, incredulously. “Of Dickon? Wait- you like Sansa?”
“Got there in the end.” Gilly sighed, affectionately patting him on the shoulder before going to shower, leaving Jon and Sam behind with four cups of coffee, one baby, and approximately five brain cells total between the two of them.
“You like her.” Sam repeated, like it was a giant revelation.
“What are we- in middle school?” Jon hissed, immediately turning his head down to smile and make faces at little Sam while he fed him, before glaring up at big Sam again. “I don’t- I mean-“
Sam was just shaking his head.“Of course you do.” he laughed. “Should have guessed- red hair and a damsel in distress? You were doomed from the outset.”
“Shut up.” Jon muttered, flushing. “It’s not like that.”
“Then why are you worrying about Dickon for fu-“ Sam glanced nervously at the baby, “-god’s sake? When Gill was meeting my family for the first time, I remember you told her not to worry- that my brother was ‘one of the best guys you know’ and ‘practically a golden retriever’.”
Jon could tell that Sam, who could not raise one eyebrow without the other, was desperately trying to do just that.
“I don’t know.” He muttered, moving little Sam to his shoulder to start burping him. “Look- I’m attracted to her, alright? It’s a fu- er, a giant disaster that I’m gonna ignore for the rest of my life.”
“Seriously?”
“Stop trying to do that with your eyebrows.” Jon complained. “It’s giving me motion sickness. And yes, seriously. I’m not even going to consider that- it’s just a stupid crush. Besides,” he sighed, rubbing little Sam’s back comfortingly, “Robb’s already dealing with enough right now with this whole Sansa situation- can’t imagine telling him I think his sister’s attractive while he’s being forced to suddenly confront all of his guilt and self loathing every time he looks at her.”
“That whole bro code thing of never dating your friend’s sisters never really made sense to me.” Sam shook his head, gulping down more coffee. “I mean, I’d be thrilled if you decided to date Talla, because I know you’d be good to her.”
“Yeah, don't think she'd quite go for that, mate.” Jon snorted, standing to bounce little Sam around gently. He was just grateful Sam hadn’t said anything else about Robb.
“Eh, wouldn’t count you out completely.” Sam shrugged, smirking. “With that hair, you’re pretty enough to be a girl- maybe that’d be enough for her.”
“You are so lucky i’m holding the baby.” Jon muttered, still bouncing little Sam, who picked that moment to spit up spectacularly down Jon’s back.
“Well, that’s three of us who’re gonna need showers now.” Sam grinned, looking thrilled as all get out that it hadn’t been him. “Wow- his aim is getting better.”
“I’m going to remind him of this when he’s a sulky teenager.” Jon grumbled, wiping spit-up off his shoulder as best he could. “Look- no gossiping with Rhae about this, please. She thinks she’s such a good clandestine agent that she doesn’t always realize that Robb is better at sniffing out her plots than she thinks.”
“Alright-“ Sam sighed, looking back down at the massive stack of paperwork in front of him. “I make no promises for Gill, though.”
“Gilly could give some of my Uncle’s colleagues at the WIA a run for their money when it comes to withstanding interrogation.” Jon snorted.
“Probably true.”
“Where did your brother take Sansa?” Still holding onto a now much happier baby with one hand, he reached down the other to take a gulp of his own coffee.
“He said something about going out towards the Tyrell Estate.” Sam shrugged. “They probably drove out there to see the gardens- he’s said it’s a good road to take his bike out on.”
Jon promptly spat out his entire sip of coffee, staining the front of his shirt as well as the back, and frightening little Sam enough that he started to cry.
“He took her on his motorcycle?”
Gilly picked that moment to reappear, completely clean and with wet hair, blinking at the scene in front of her.
Sam, who couldn’t seem to stop laughing, was desperately trying to calm down the baby, who had started wailing, while Jon’s entire front was covered in coffee and his entire back was covered in baby vomit. Not that he seemed to notice, as his face was white and he was making a series of angry looking hand gestures at her husband.
“I really can’t leave you three alone for five minutes, can I?” she sighed. “Do I even want to know?”
#my writing#my wips#writing wips#just APWH things#jonsa#fanfiction wip#God bless Gilly like for real#YES Sansa is on a date with someone else here#muscleman golden retriever McAttractiveness#Aka dickon tarly#unsurprisingly jon is not having a great time about it!#in fairness to sansa the plotline directly preceding this and kicking off her doing some traveling was pretty rough on her#so our poor girl really deserves a giant muscley golden retriever with a motorcycle#and to just have a good time with someone who isn't wrapped up in all the stark drama/disaster/mess etc.#jon can deal with it rn bc it's really a 'you snooze you lose' kind of situation#sam's usually quicker on the draw but he's very sleep deprived here#and working on some stuff for a pathology conference#not at all going to be relevant nope no sir#writing sam and jon interacting vs jon and robb is so fascinating#they're both jon's besties but there's a very different dynamic to the two relationships#in fairness Robb has like SO much complex childhood trauma and is kind of seriously going through it right now#but his scenes with jon always have this sort of darker edge to them#like an 'i've known you my entire life and know everything about you for better or worse' type deal- deeper but darker#it's more akin to a sibling relationship? but also not? they are both going thru it#my headcanon is that anytime jon starts getting too gloomy and angsty gilly just straight up shoves the baby at him#and then waits like twenty minutes#Gilly: 'it's free babysitting!'#generally it works pretty well#jon's like '404 error does not compute' as soon as sam says the word 'motorcycle'#also when sam says 'the secretary' he means randyll tarly was the secretary of defense
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you art is so beautiful omg
just been coming back from a hiatus/inactivity so i’m glad people have been enjoying it so much, ffxiv has been a joy and creative font for me these past few months after feeling a bit bummed by art. thankfully i feel completely refreshed recently and comments like these make things sweeter, thank you for appreciating!!
#asks#t4t hythades also eating my brain#i am thinking about them all the time#i sort of got more into ffxiv in a vaccuum hole where nobody influenced me or anything i just started going#i was stuck in ARR for a while and then HW then i got into SB#then boom shb-ew gripped me by the throat now i have two dads#hythlodaeus i’d do anything for#a darling a dear a doll in the shape of a beautiful purple twink man with amazingly copious blessed hrt body hair#emet constantly drinking the dumb petty bitch juice but i still love him he’s so entertaining#they both utterly FASCINATE me they have a lot under the surface i feel#if love was a consciousness: hythlodaeus absolutely he is a conscious day to day choose to love and devote to his dear ones#even if it means messing with them a bit#but fails to see he shines just as brightly and if not more than he sees his friends do#if love was a subconscious: emet one hundred fucking perrcent and he’ll never escape the actions are louder than words allegations old man#complain all you want moron!! you love your crowd to death and insanity and to the moon (pardon me) and back#a mountain of misery grief and love on that stupidly terrible posture i could never forgive you but you’re my dad#BOTH OF YOU#ohhh i can’t wait to share and post more honestly i have a lot of love to give#they’re also giving me a lotta queer joy and euphoria so like there’s also that
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realized i think i enjoy rhyming so much because it’s one of the only text formats that actually forces me to read and understand everything, since my tendency to skip around blocks of text and misread words gets held in check by the need to make everything flow correctly
#it’s sort of the same way with dialogue to an extent#bc i know what the *cadence* of a natural-sounding conversation should be#so any words i skip or mess up make the dialogue sound ‘off’ and i can course correct#idk it’s just sorta interesting 2 me#mumbling
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So do we think the non water flight version of the text is actually a cipher or nah?
I initially thought so, it looked like a replacement cipher with missing letters of based on the patterning, (potentially one of those plus sign replacement ciphers, I forget what they are called if they have a name) but now that I’ve seen the corresponding plaintext it’s clear it’s not simple substitution w missing bits at the very least.
Could potentially be looking at a more advanced cipher but idk if the devs would go that far especially since they pretty much gave us the plaintext, so they could’ve just created a cipherlike set of symbols that doesn’t decrypt to anything. If that’s the case they did a good job making something that looked reasonably enough like a cipher that I played around with it for a little bit. But it’s also not entirely impossible they used something a tad more advanced especially given that a simple substitution would get broken quite quickly.
#I might mess around w it some more idk#but if it’s just random symbols I don’t want to waste too much time#though I suppose I could practice my coding and see if I could script something to test if it’s some other common ciphers idk#my wifi is out so I’m not on the fr forums so I’m out of the loop as far as any other decryption attempts are concerned#supposing they exist#there’s got to be at least one other user who goes hog wild when they see potential ciphertext right?#456 words#fr#flightrising#anyway feel free to lemme know your thoughts!#considering we know the plaintext of it’s some sort of cipher that isn’t like. insanely complex we should be able to figure it out#but I got other stuff to do alas#flight rising#fr unfathomable journey#fr anniversary#I’ll see when I get somewhere w wifi lol
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my review of Moonwalk: hot mess. ★★★.
#i will refer to it#but oh god... it's just#1st of all. the added afterword from 2009 should have been a FOREWORD bc it gives you the context for how this book was made#so they did have a real writer put it together based on long transcripts of interviews one of the publishing people did with mj#if those tapes exist or pieces of then exist i need to find them. i think i've seen some floating around#bc ... the way it's written sounds very michael. it's not well written. so i'm surprised they even had an actual writer do it#but that makes me think maybe the writer just pulled a lot of exact wording from the tapes?#i hope that's how it happened#like the publishing lady said i Also wish michael had been devoted to this project. this could've been really good#i'm interested in anything that comes straight from michael so ultimately i'm just grateful he did a book at all#and really WAS involved in it#but it just. it's a mess. it's disorganized. it's disjointed#it just does not deliver in so many ways#there were so many times i would read a couple paragraphs and be like. wait What. that went Nowhere#there are really wonderful parts of course too#first of all i'm happy to hear him talk about parts of his life he didn't necessarily talk about that much#i find everything he says about motown and esp the mid-late j5 motown years Supremely interesting#everything written about music and dancing and performing is great. seeing the way he thinks about those things. divine. enlightening.#the thing is. the tone is extremely defensive and passive aggressive throughout the whole book#which is amusing and i mostly like it. michael jackson was one petty and spiteful mf. he loved being right and he reiterates that a lot#but bc of the press treatment of more personal things like his appearance and relationships. those parts are just. eugh#like when it comes to music/dance/performance he can defend himself no problem. concrete evidence that he's fucking awesome and he knew it#he brings up dating and stuff and it feels like he was like. floundering. maybe he just couldn't decide how much to share?#idk it just feels like. he won't outright SAY some things but he'll sort of hint at things. and i can't tell if what he's hinting at#is the real truth or him being defensive and wanting to give the impression that he was 'normal' so people would just leave him alone#i can't tell. i really can't. i wanna just believe him but i'm like. wtf do you mean. and then there'll be inconsistencies#like WHAT R U TRYING TO SAY. you might as well just tell me what you WANT me to think and what you want people to stop bothering you about#ok anyways#it definitely feels like they rushed to get it out asap#i have like 10 questions for every page. i feel like a writer/editor should've been working with him in that way
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the head of secondary at my school (i THINK that's what he is??) was walking into the school as i was walking out and he decided to start small talk with me???
"how have exams been going?"
"...they've been alright"
"alright?" *makes so-so hand motion*
"yeah"
"have any more left?"
"classics"
"so next week? well good luck!"
"thanks—..."
this post isn't supposed to mean anything i'm just a bit confused lmao
#in other news my computing exam went just about as well as i thought it would#databases was pretty easy besides one question that was worded in a way i couldn't really understand#software dev/computer systems? not so much.#i spent like. 30 minutes (maybe more) trying to figure out an answer that would work for question 6c but NOTHING STUCK#tried every sort of design method i could think of. yes even pseudocode (which i hate).#in the end i just gave up. so the page for 6c is just. a mess of scribbles and misery#also my classics exam has been postponed to wednesday. oh goodie! /s#misia has a stupid thought#ignoreable post
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have had a bit of my crash after flying too close to the sun this past week and you know what, it’s very annoying and also very good for me in a stabilizing way.
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Monty fucking Regulus ass up face down because he knows he’s cheating and he hates it but in the back of his mind he really loves it, Regulus knowing this and making whiny, high pitched noises so unlike Effie and Monty comes 5x harder
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#made such a huge mistake all those months ago when i mentioned regmonty once and im still getting anons about them……#i really sort of don’t ship them at all 😭😭😭#<- only in the context of fucked up bartylus using the potters as foreplay….#one quirky thing about me is that i dont like older powerful men taking advantage of controversially young lovers…..#<- big words from a girl who enjoys powerful women taking advantage of controversially young lovers..#IM A MESS OF CONTRADICTIONS…… OKAY…..#i just hate men and patriarchal power dynamics…….#BUT !!!!! GOOD FOR YOU !!!!#literally ship & explore whatever you want forever and ever 🤍🤍#you should follow @dracure i think you would love it over there 🤍🤍🤍#who wants to hear about my super wholesome and sweet lyalljames au….
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Very Very Far Shot But...
I stumbled upon the concept of this today, and it, uh, struck me and my Dragalia-attuned (among other games) brain.
The word?
Eudaimonia (well, or 'eudaemonia' or even 'eudemonia'). As you might be able to surmise, it is Grecian.
Since it's a bit of a more complicated word in concept, here's snippets of both the good old Wikipedia and Encyclopaedia Britannica regarding it:
Closely following this is the more modern concept of eudaemonism, which is the school of thought that evaluates the worthiness of actions based on their capacity to produce happiness.
But wait, there's more!
There also was a concept of eudaimonias as actual spirits, a sort of guardian angel figure.
And, well. This all sounds vaguely familiar to Euden. He himself in Dragalia lore is something of a symbol of dragalia itself made manifest, creating the ultimate har-har in the game's title after the last chapter. Replace "Euden's dead" everytime you see "Dragalia Lost" and it's darkly amusing. What do you mean, in the game "Euden's dead, in the chapter "Euden's dead" Euden dies? Impossible!- But just as he reforms bridges between people and dragons, so too is Euden very concerned and involved with the flourishing of humanity in all stripes. As leader to New Alberia, he also serves something as a guiding figure for the people who chose to follow him, on both a literal 'big-picture, what do we even do' scale as well as a more personal one, as he pays attention to most every individual he meets.
There's also this snippet regarding the actual 'figure' of the eudaimon:
With dragons in Dragalia being essentially nature personified, 'mother nature bites back' champions of higher, more intangible powers and occasionally all but killable gods themselves with their might, it forms a neat sort of comparison with Euden, the intermediary between them and the 'lesser races' of humanity. Euden himself is already something of an intermediary between the divine and mortal, with the whole Xenos-Morsayati-Nedrick trifecta involved in his creation even if he is himself largely the same as most other human.
Of course, with the whole notion of Greek deified heroes entering the mix and their many ends in mythos, it adds another potential tie in, since, yeah. He dead (after performing supernatural feats).
Dragalia also possibly drew on Greek/Roman inspiration for others in his family so it might not be completely impossible. There's Leonidas, who was most notably a king of Sparta and has a few other little tidbits to him that make me wonder if they drew on him for inspiration, and Marcus Aurelius, who was noted as part of the "Last of the Five Good Emperors" in Ancient Rome, a noted militaristic society like Alberia's. That almost reminds me of Aurelius' status in the main campaign, where he ruled as King for very long and further helped Alberia prosper before it all started going downhill.
So...yeah. Euden as a possible literal manifestation of a eudaemon, eudaemonia and/or eudaemonist himself, anyone?
#dragalia lost#dragalia#dragalia analysis#like I said: farfetched but look it just lines up a bit too well#...accidentally or not!#Honestly though#...If I were to ignore canon and pretend everyone remembers everything before Euden pressed the unwind button on the universe remote#I would probably claim that this is the origin of the word in the future in the way that names sometimes get integrated into language!#He's just kinda got that ripe combination of weird 'was that dude even real' kind of vibe that could lend itself to a sort of deification#especially now that a lot of people would be shaken up in the Ilian faith regarding the Satan Incident and everything in Grams.#I'm rambling now but darn the Ilian Faith is not messing around in Dragalia. They scary. More on that later (maybe) but I'll shut up for no
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.
#neither here nor there#accidentally gave my sibling a panic attack#(they're ok now. i managed to catch that i was freaking them out and Stop Doing That.)#and i feel like im about to die. i messed up#i messed up i messed up i messed up#and i'm already in a bit of a funk from failing at Another task today. and saying something wrong to the Guy In Charge.#researching rejection sensitive dysphoria. lol.#idk. i need to talk to a friend about This Sort Of Thing Happening but alas#i am so so scared always always always#repetition#huh. i get very repetitive when i'm upset. idk why. i've deleted like three tags that were just repeating words over and over again here#i don't knowwwwwwwww augh
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OPEN STARTER | Boo Yihwa
"New idea: you fuck off or I'll kill you. I hate the way you smell."
#;open starter#the witch;yihwa#the witch;open#NEW FC NEW FC NEW FC couldn't find more resources for the old one plus i generally just wanted a new one lmao here she is#SO she's around 90 yrs old so fresh immortal she/her all the way and she hates people~#her 'immortality' is just her lengthening her lifespan by 'consuming' souls of the deceased#spirits yknow because if they're strong enough to stick around as spirits then they have enough life energy left#to be added to hers IT WORKED it's weird mathematics but she made it work#she's less of a witch and more of a psychic of sorts?? she doesn't really do spells she just#makes it look like it's spells when it's just her having figured out how to trap souls lmao#she's so much NOT fun to be around it's thrilling~#;queue#gosh i have to change her about doc#but hoNESTLY what with her fc change i really wanna WRITE her now LIKE DAMN#she's so muCH FUN because she doesn't mince her words and she hates everyone#OH AND ALSO she's terrified of death she will nOT die that's NOT AN OPTION#but she's also only 91 it's so funny all the shit she knows from the past is stuff your grandparent could corroborate#you should become her lil apprentice actually?? she'd HATE that but then she'd really angrily accept you after a while#and she'd turn you into a supervillain ngl or she'd try to#but you can then go around and say 'i wouldn't mess with me' bc if she starts considering you an extension of herself#or GOD FORBID care about you her deranged methods of self-protection wILL be extended onto you
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planning the third fic of this extended ramtteo universe series im not entirely sure what im doing with (the second one is basically done and will probably be posted tomorrow bc it's pretty short)
these are my favourite lines of the plan
Jim is surprised, Yam is not, and questions both her girlfriend’s and Ramiro’s gaydar.
Gastón is very surprised at this information overload but takes it like a champ and is super supportive, as expected.
#im really loving the whole 'ramtteo are fucking messes and everyone else is waiting for them to sort their shit out'#very excited to write jam being in domestic bliss alongside ramiro being a whole mess#for some reason it really makes me giggle calling it The Jam Household whenever i refer to their apartment in the plans#but we're also introducing the gastina household with this one#ngl kind of nervous about writing gaston im not entirely confident with writing him#especially at least a thousand words of dialogue#when in doubt just make shit up as always#soy luna#ramtteo
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OMG! OMG! OMG!
I never thought I would see a video of you singing! You are so beautiful. Your voice is amazing! To see your cuteness while you sing is wonderful. Those cheeks! Your face is so expressive, and your shoulder roll was so fun. Those freckles! and that giggle at the end...(big sigh)...
The sound I made when I saw the ask about it was not as embarrassing as the sound I made when found that the video was still up. You have made me so happy with this. I know it's silly but I teared up listening to it because I had to close my eyes to stop from crying. This is so beautiful! You are so beautiful and it has nothing to do with how you look. Thank you Princess! Thank you!
#I know I’ve used this gif before#but this is literally me right now#I’m not OKAY#I’m a fucking mess right now actually#I’ve had a really bad day and to see all the positivity and kind words about my singing video is literally making my day#I’ve thought about making a TikTok specifically for singing videos and now I’m feeling a little more confidence about it 🥺#still don’t know if I’ll ever do it#but it just sounds fun#I have a few duets that i sing by myself and I thought it would be fun to do both parts somehow#either do some sort of edit#or like different makeup on either side of my face and turn to the camera whatever character I’m singing (if that makes sense)#ok getting distracted#back to one of the sweetest asks I’ve ever received#same with the other ask from my dear 🌸 I’m going to keep this ask near and dear to my heart#this means more to me than I can ever express#like I’m going to screenshot both of these asks and save them for a sad day and when I need a pick me up#I said before but I’ll say it again voice compliments are one of my favorites#I’m speechless and I don’t know what to say anymore tbh#you are way way WAY to kind to me 😭 I don’t deserve all these lovely words#thank you so much for this ask and being such a sweetie#can’t imagine anyone tearing up over me singing popular tbh 🥺😭#that’s just so sweet#maybe I’ll have to sing one of my super sad ballads and see if I can make you sob#some of the songs I sing to myself hit my heart really deeply so I sometimes cry while singing them#also ‘you are so beautiful and it has nothing to do with the way you look’ hold on I need a fucking minute#I’m sobbing again#thank you so so so so so much#idk how much longer I’ll keep the video up cause face but go enjoy it while it’s there 😇#fav asks#sweet asks
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idk man I just don’t think adults should be posting depictions of ch///ld p///rn on a site that allows children on it and that apparently is enough to land me on the Evil Anti Blocklist
#anti talk#im also on the Evil Ace list because i support kids who ID as ace#so in other words i'm the devil#its been so fun as an old person to see the internet come full circle#this is how it was when i was a kid there were all sorts of messed up things unfiltered everywhere#and if you dared complain you were shouted down#and then it went to the other extreme and now were back again#so all in all most people are just idiots who live on one of the extremes with absolutely no sense for nuance or complexity
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i have my own apartment for the first time ever and now i’m kind of in a slump cuz im Alone for the first time ever
#i need to get everything sorted and put into place but i’m kind of just. urghhhhhh#a slump is the only word i have for it#i have what i’ve wanted for so long (my own space & the financial stability to support it) and im not happy#which i know content is the goal and not happy but i just kind of look at the mess of everything#and want to fold inward
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